Why Am I Me?
by Dr I Lyne OBE PhD BA MA MMATH
Summary: Percy Jackson is alone. And his scared. Will a silver eyed goddess save him or kill him when she brings him to a weird school where they teach subjects like DADA and Potions? ([Percy/Artemis][Percy/Hermione)
1. Sanity is your last friend

**I do not own Percy Jackson or Harry Potter.**

Percy Jackson was afraid. Afraid of being alone. He had been through so much in his short two and twenty years. He had been through three wars – the first against the titan Kronos, the second against Gaea and the last against an Egyptian magician. Through all of this, however, he had had his friends with him. Now he did not…

Crying, the young hero fell back against a tree. The sea was dead in the youthful leader's eyes. He had lost the will to live and yet he had not gained the will to die. As much as he wanted to take out his faithful Riptide and end all his suffering in two easy strokes, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

The hero needed something to do. Something to kill. Something to direct his depression at. If only he could anger a monster or insult a God, but even his hunters wouldn't relieve him of his wish.

His clothes were days old and covered in dry congealed blood and dark brown mud. If only he could get to the mansion: the Kane Mansion. He was pretty sure that they'd help him, if not because they liked him then just to repay a favour.

The icy wind blew like it wanted to blow the soul out of Percy. And maybe that happened. Every time Percy exhaled he felt like a tiny piece of his kind heart left him, until his heart had frozen solid and all goodness had left him. For the first time in his life his humanity and mortality left him alone. Sorrow left him. Anger filled him. He would have revenge. All his 'friends' would pay. They had all left him; alone.

When you are alone loneliness spreads through you like the plague. Once it's in every inch of your body, it slowly feeds off your kindness. Your humanity. Your mortality. Once it had consumed every part of your heart, it leaves you and so do you. Your soul is no longer part of you. Your brain imprisons your heart and runs your body with a totalitarian regime. You are selfish. Sadistic. Love is exiled. Happiness is executed. Kindness is imprisoned. Dreams are crushed. The shell that was once the home of your soul enjoys seeing other people in pain and feeds off sorrow and selfishness. You divert your misfortunes into other people to see them suffer. Even death is kinder then loneliness. At least death gives your shell to nature, whereas loneliness give your soul to your brain. Your brain. One of the things that you can't live with yet you can't live without. It keeps you alive but doesn't keep you sane. Left to your thoughts you will slowly lose your sanity until all you have left is the reassuring feeling of family. If you lose that your sanity evaporate (even if you don't realise it).

Percy had always been slightly crazy, with everything he had to go through, but now the rest of his sanity has left as each one of his friends had left him. As Jason had tried to kill him. As Hazel had accused him of flirting with her. As Poseidon had disowned him. As Annabeth had done 'it' with Leo. She'd told him she wanted to save herself for marriage, well that disproved itself. His sanity had left him alone. His last friend had left him – his last friend: his sanity.


	2. Immortality Is Your Greatest Enemy

**I DO NOT ****PERCY JACKSON, THE KANE CHRONICLES OR HARRY POTTER!**

She was watching him slowly lose his humanity. It pained him. It pained her. It would pain everyone. Was this really he hero willing to die for any one of his friends? He didn't look like a hero. He looked like a beggar, with deep grey rings around his life less dull eyes. His hair had many streaks of grey and white mingled in with the once beautiful Tartarus-black hair.

She could see him becoming an exact replica of the thing she stood against. Everything that made him different was evaporating; floating away along with every emotion besides blind fury and melancholy.

She knew that she had to help him. If she didn't then all would be lost. And she would be alone. Alone. For ever. For eternity and infinity are cruel: they torture you by drawing by making every emotion and loss immortal.

Immortality is the curse that everyone desires but nobody loves. When you don't have it you do everything to get it. When you have it you long for mortality. The power to die. To know someone mourns over you is lost in immortality. Mortals understand emotions because they know fear. Immortals are void of most emotions as they know no fear – they may exist forever, but they never really live at all. Death may be clouded in despair, but it is still a blessing. For without death you would not know fear. And without fear you would not understand happiness. And if you don't understand happiness, you cannot feel happiness. Like loneliness, immortality eats away on your soul until you are just a never decomposing corpse. Like a puppet, your corpse moves around fulfilling selfish desires that do not bring you happiness. They give a simulation of joy, but not true happiness. True happiness is reserved for mortals. For only those who know true fear know true happiness.

Artemis wanted to experience true happiness. She knew that it was near impossible but she hoped Perseus could help. However, first she needed to help him. She knew only one place and only one immortal that could help her. The school and Hecate.

Hecate was the first hurdle that needed to be over-come. She needed to bless Perseus with the skills of a true wizard. With his amount of raw strength, a very powerful wizard. He already carried the blessing of the powers of an Egyptian magician so it should not be too hard.

Once he had the skills he would go the school and teach (hopefully, however he would learn to). There he would he would receive his present again – his kindness. His happiness. His soul.


End file.
